Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize