Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
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