Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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