Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
