During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
