We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
She's not a foreskin expert like you
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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