When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
