You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
