69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
