I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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