its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
