if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize