I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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