maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
