I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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