all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
