I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
