I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
