Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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