i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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