party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
How's work?
Spinning.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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