Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
