Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
