Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
