Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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