Me too!
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
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