Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
