Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize