you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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