I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
