it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
