everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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