Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
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