I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
