After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
My pussy is not your playground.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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