Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
