Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
