Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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