Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Im part way to drunk.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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