i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I am never drinking with the goths again.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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