alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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