I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
