Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
