you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
