On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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