I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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