My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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