i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
