How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
