fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
