Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize
