You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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