Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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