I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
